Malcolm Is Abusive, Not Marie

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You’d be excused for saying you haven’t taken the time to watch Malcom and Marie. The basics are that it stars Zendaya (Marie) and John David Washington (Malcolm). That the two are a couple. That they argue… a lot. That Malcolm is a filmmaker and Marie is his partner that has overcome more trials in life than anyone should have to encounter. That Malcolm is verbally and emotionally abusive.

That’s it.

What’s most concerning about the film is the aggregate of reactions I’ve glimpsed on social media. If all you knew about the dynamic between the two was from tweets or FB posts, you’d be inclined to assume there’s equal culpability in a clearly not-meant-to-be relationship. And while Marie certainly comes with noticeable baggage, the film prides itself on being an exploration of a relationship, not a stroll down I-owe-you memory lane. No, it’s not about placing blame. No one has to be more wrong or right than the other, but when the scales of disproportionate are so blatantly clear, it’s both rational and justified to call them out.

Marie’s grievances are valid, but most importantly, they’re present. They stem from the most impactful professional happenings of Malcolm’s life at the time.

But what about Marie? What about her belittling of Malcolm? Her attempts at emasculation? And anything else you hang your linchpin of patriarchy on?

The seminal moment in the film isn’t any of these never ending fights the two are involved in. It’s near the beginning, when a physically and emotionally drained Marie cooks Malcom a meal, tells him she’d rather talk in the morning, and affirms her adoration for him with an “I Love You.” If you don’t think that should count for something, perhaps a reexamination of understanding your partner should be front and center.

Marie, seemingly more emotionally intelligent and self-aware, knows next to nothing positive will come from taking the conversation any further at that moment, yet Malcolm persists. Boundaries are important, even in relationships. So too is respect for your partner as an equal human being. Malcolm persists under the selfish guise of not being able to go to bed knowing Marie is mad at him, and so, the bell rings for round 2 of the fight. In real life, how many years pass before that whole “never go to bed mad at each other” fairy tale dissipates to the reality of human emotions?

While the pre-awards season train worked overtime to build momentum around a Best Actress nod for Zendaya, it’s Washington that deserves some also-ran Academy Award attention. The ability to make any character as insufferable as Malcolm was from beginning to end takes a Herculean effort.

Maybe this is the rare film that would’ve been much better as a play. Maybe both artists lacked the range to tell such a story within the confines of drawn out, sublime writing. All of those things may or may not be true, but in the end, Malcom and Marie just turned out to be an excruciatingly hard film to watch. You didn’t scrape through it because you actually cared what happened. As a twenty minute short film, this would’ve been an absolute masterpiece. As a feature length, it just doesn’t work. At all.